Revenge on the Phone Solicitors II!
by The 3 ladies
Summary: Chapter 2 up! Relena, again, tries to punish the g-boys for making fun of phone solicitors! The g-boys fight for those who try to eat dinner in peace! We learn some interesting secrets about Mr. Peacecraft too! R&R!-Lady Blink
1. Revenge on the Phone Solicitors!

Revenge on the Phone Solicitors!  
  
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Hello! I got this idea from Lady Keo's book "Fun with Phone Solicitors" by Robert Harris. All the pranks are from the book. Lady Keo helped me out getting the idea off the ground! Thanks Lady Keo!! ^_^ Please R&R! Thanks!  
  
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Disclaimer: Me no own, you no sue. Oh and I DON"T own the "Fun with Phone Solicitors" by Robert Harris book. That's Robert Harris's book!  
  
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Relena: You guys are going to answer my phones as a punishment.  
  
Heero: It was accident.  
  
Relena: You guys jumped the Prime Minister's wife screaming "That's not a woman! That's a man baby!!" while pulling her hair out!!  
  
Trowa: Accident.  
  
Duo: Damn! She looked like she got beaten with an ugly stick.  
  
Wufei: More like an ugly two by four.  
  
Pilots: *snicker*  
  
Relena: Anyways! To punish you, I'll have you answer my phones. Since I'm rich a lot of telemarketers call hoping I'll buy something. Just tell them I'm not here. Oh and they call for my brother a lot too. Get to work!  
  
*Relena leaves through two big pink doors. The G-boys sit at pink desks in pink chairs and wait for the pink phones to ring. *  
  
* RINGGGGG! *  
  
Duo: *picks up phone. * Hello? No, she's not here. *Hangs up. *  
  
* RINGGGGG! *  
  
Heero: Hn. *hangs up. *  
  
Wufei: What company was it?  
  
Heero: It was Relena.  
  
*5 minutes later. *  
  
Quatre: I'm bored of saying Ms. Peacecraft isn't here! This is soooo boring!!  
  
Wufei: This whole room is pink!  
  
Duo: I have an idea. *Evil grin. *  
  
* RINGGGGG! *  
  
Duo: *picks up phone. * Hello? Yes. This is Mr. Peacecraft.  
  
Phone Solicitor: Hello. I'm from Freda's Bank. We are glad to say that you are approved for a gold master card from Freda's Bank!  
  
Duo: *to no one really. * WHAT??!! HE'S FROM FREDA'S BANK!! I'M APPROVED FOR A GOLD MASTER CARD!!  
  
Phone Solicitor: Um, yes. It has up to $6,000 on it. Now-  
  
Duo: IT HAS $6,000 ON IT!!  
  
Phone Solicitor: Um, did I call at a bad time?  
  
Duo: HE WANTS TO KNOW IF HE CALLED AT A BAD TIME! No, you didn't. Go on.  
  
Phone Solicitor: Okay. Well, if you join Freda's Bank you can have the card amount turned to $7,550 instead of the $6,000.  
  
Duo: IF I JOIN THE CARD GOES TO $7,550! WHAT? $7,550! I really have to go. I'm getting tired of yelling. *Hangs up. *  
  
*The other pilots are doubled over in their chairs. *  
  
Quatre: *Red. Turning purple. * That.was.so.fun--.ny!!!  
  
* RINGGGGG! *  
  
Heero: * picks up the bright pink-screaming phone. * Hn.  
  
Phone Solicitor: Hello? Is Mr. Peacecraft there?  
  
Heero: No but Rick Smith is here. He's $2.50 a minute. Unless you like it rough, then its $2.75. Will that be Master Card or Visa?  
  
* Phone Solicitor hangs up. *  
  
Trowa: I want to try one!  
  
Quatre: *RINGG! * My phones ringing!!  
  
Wufei: Answer it then!  
  
Quatre: Hello?  
  
Phone Solicitor: Hi. Mr. Peacecraft?  
  
Quatre: Speaking.  
  
Phone Solicitor: This Hayley credit union. We are-  
  
Quatre: Knock-knock!  
  
Phone Solicitor: Uh.Who's there?  
  
Quatre: Isabella!  
  
Phone Solicitor: Isabella who?  
  
Quatre: Isabella out of order!  
  
Phone Solicitor: *Laughs to make Quatre happy. *  
  
Quatre: ^. ^ Now it's your turn! I told you a joke, now you tell me one!  
  
Phone Solicitor: Um.okay. What is the only kind of dog you can eat?  
  
Quatre: What?  
  
Phone Solicitor: A hot dog.  
  
Quatre: I've heard that. *Hangs up. *  
  
Duo: *wipes tear away. * Priceless.  
  
*Trowa's phone starts to ring. *  
  
Trowa: n_n Finally! *Picks up. * Hello?  
  
Phone Solicitor: *mispronounces* Is Ms. Relena Peacecraft there?  
  
Trowa: *gets choked up and has trouble speaking. * She.no.she.passed away.  
  
Phone Solicitor: I'm sorry.  
  
Trowa: She fell into a tree limb chipper. *Starts crying. * WHY??!! WHY HER? IT WASN'T HER TIME!!  
  
* Phone Solicitor hangs up. *  
  
Heero: I pray every night for that phone call.  
  
Trowa: God that was fun!  
  
Wufei: Telemarketers are weak!! *His phone goes off. * He-he. Time to shine bitch! *Picks up phone. * Hello?  
  
Phone Solicitor: Is this Mr. Peacecraft?  
  
Wufei: Sure.  
  
Phone Solicitor: I'm from the Lagoon Cable Company and-  
  
Wufei: *drops phone and picks it up. * Sorry! I'm so clumsy!  
  
Phone Solicitor: It's okay. We're offering a great and limited time deal Mr. Peacecraft. For only $9.99 a month we'll add-  
  
Wufei: *drops phone again. * Darn it! I'm so sorry! Go on.  
  
Phone Solicitor: Yes. Well, like I was saying. For only $9.99 a month we'll add MTV2, three new cartoon channels and-  
  
Wufei: *drops phone. * Crap!  
  
Phone Solicitor: And 12 new sport channels. For only $13.95 you'll-  
  
Wufei: *drops phone AGAIN! * Damn it! This is such a shitty f***ing phone!!  
  
Phone Solicitor: Uh sir? Would you like me to continue? Are you okay?  
  
Wufei: Yes. I'm okay. Please continue. For only $15.98?  
  
Phone Solicitor: Actually its $13.95. You'll receive 16 different news stations! CNN, KIPO 56, NBC, and many oth-  
  
Wufei: *drops phone. * F***ING PHONE!! MOTHER F***!!! STUPID SON OF A BITCH!!!  
  
* Phone Solicitor hangs up. *  
  
*Gundam pilots crack up. Phone Solicitors all call their next victim. *  
  
*Relena walks in. *  
  
Relena: What the hell is going on in here? Are you five goofing around?  
  
Pilots: *_* No.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------- Okay. That's it. If you want me to continue and I get a lot of reviews saying to continue I will. Have a good day! PLEASE R&R!!! ---Lady Blink 


	2. Revenge on the Phone Solicitors II!

Revenge on the Phone Solicitors II  
  
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Hello! Okay, I said I a bad word in this summary a week ago and fanfiction erased the entire story plus the reviews! -_-;; So let's try this again!  
  
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Lady Keo wanted to help write the second chapter to the "Revenge on the Phone Solicitors". So this is a Lady Blink and Lady Keo fic. About time she wrote a goddamn fic! We aren't called The 3 Ladies for nothing! JOKING! Thanks for reviewing! Please review this chapter too! Thanks! Have a good day! ---Lady Blink  
  
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Disclaimer: We don't own Gundam Wing or the "Fun with Phone Solicitors" by Robert Harris book so go f*** off you authoress blood craving lawyers! Go away!  
  
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Relena: I can't believe you five would do that! Doing that to the telemarketers!! You know, one telemarketer called at 11 o'clock at night hoping my brother or RICK SMITH would have PHONE SEX with him!!!  
  
*Gundam pilots try to hold in their laughter. *  
  
Relena: I DON'T FIND THIS FUNNY!!  
  
Pilots: *snicker. *  
  
Relena: You're still in trouble for jumping the Prime Minster's wife and now for making the name Mr. Peacecraft a porn name in the telemarketer world!  
  
Heero: *mumbling. * It already was a porn name. Has anyone heard of a movie called "What's That White Stuff?"  
  
Duo: I thought he told me his porn name was "Thumper".  
  
*A flower guy walks in. *  
  
Flower Guy: Delivery for the Peacecraft family. *Holds up a BIG vase of flowers with a message that says, "Rest in Peace". *  
  
Relena: I'll take that. *Signs for flowers. Flower Guy leaves and Relena pulls out the card. * Rest in peace Ms. Peacecraft. We are so sorry to hear about Queen Relena and the tree limb chipper. Tree limb chipper? What tree limb chipper?!  
  
*Gundam boys explode with laughter. *  
  
Trowa: It was *laugh* a prank on one *laugh* of the *giggle* phone solicitors. Ouch! My stomach! HAHAHA!!  
  
Relena: *Red in the face. * GODDAMN IT!! *G-boys stop laughing. * I'm going to leave and HOPE that you guys will behave like the gentlemen you are and answer the phones correctly!  
  
*Relena stomps to the door and guards in pink suits open the pink doors so the queen of the world can stomp past in her all pink outfit. Guards follow her out. One guard throws Quatre his phone number and winks. *  
  
Quatre: o.0 Oh. *Puts card away before Trowa sees. * He-he! n_n !  
  
*G-Boys sit down at desks. *  
  
God ugly Pink phone: RINNNGGGG!  
  
*Wufei picks up with a naughty look on face. *  
  
Phone Solicitor: Hello. I'm from Make-Up Guide Magazine. Ms. Peacecraft, we want you to join our magazine list! Only $9.99 a month!  
  
Wufei: Your password?  
  
Phone Solicitor: Uh, what?  
  
Wufei: Your password sir?  
  
Phone Solicitor: Um, I think I called the wrong-  
  
Wufei: *Presses 2 and 4 on phone. * We have a code yellow. Line 4..Affirmative. Initiating trace.  
  
*Phone Solicitor hangs up. *  
  
Heero: Oh! That was good Chang! *They high-five. *  
  
*Quatre's phone goes off. He picks up. *  
  
Quatre: *in his cute voice. * Hello?  
  
Phone Solicitor: Hi little boy! ^. ^ Is your daddy or mommy home sweetie pie?  
  
Quatre: *smile fades. Cold voice * Hold on. *Holds phone away. * MMMOOOOMMMMMMM!!! *Puts phone down and gets up to sit next to Duo. *  
  
Pilots: *giggle. *  
  
*Trowa's phone starts ringing. *  
  
Phone Solicitor: Hello. Is this Mr. Peacecraft?  
  
Trowa: Yes.  
  
Phone Solicitor: Well, Mr. Peacecraft I'm from the Atticus Bank.  
  
Trowa: Oh! I love your commercial! The dog and duck trying to get a credit card.  
  
Phone Solicitor: Um, no. I think you misunderstood us for anther bank.  
  
Trowa: Are you sure?  
  
Phone Solicitor: Yes. Now we are offering a great deal for new members.  
  
Trowa: The woman trying to get money in the rain and then she goes to your bank and she's all dry and happy?  
  
Phone Solicitor: No. Once again you have us misunderstood. We offer a card that has $2500 on it and over time-  
  
Trowa: Are you sure?  
  
Phone Solicitor: Yes. Now Mr. Peacecraft-  
  
Trowa: The funny commercial with the birds and bees being safe and using Atticus Bank debit card?  
  
Phone Solicitor: I don't think so sir.  
  
Trowa: You don't seem to know much about your company. *Hangs up. *  
  
*Quatre walks over to phone where the phone solicitor is waiting for Quatre's mommy. *  
  
Quatre: Hello?  
  
Phone Solicitor: Hi. I'm waiting for Ms. Peacecraft.  
  
Quatre: Just a second. *Holds phone away. * MOMMMMMMMMMM!!! *Puts phone down and sits by Duo again. *  
  
*RIING!!!*  
  
*Duo picks up phone*  
  
Solicitor: Hi, is Ms. Peacecraft home? Duo: I'm sorry no ones home right now.  
  
Solicitor:...huh.....Uh.... Your there aren't you? Duo: uh...nope! *In a singsong voice* I don't think so!  
  
Solicitor: uh...where are you then?   
  
Duo: I'm on the Sun!!!!  
  
Solicitor:....okay then.......*hangs up*  
  
Wufei: Very nice Maxwell. Very nice.  
  
*Heero's phone goes off. *  
  
(Warning: White people and religious bashing ahead. Skip ahead if you're a pissy person who can't take a joke. No offense to anyone.)  
  
Heero: WASSS UPPPP???!!  
  
Phone Solicitor: Uh, hello. Am I speaking to Mr. Peacecraft?  
  
Heero: Sure are! What cracking my cracker?  
  
Phone Solicitor: Fine, I guess. Now sir, I'm from Christ's Church of Worship.  
  
Heero: Oh f***!!  
  
Phone Solicitor:..Mr. Peacecraft if Jesus Christ walked up to you what would you say to him?  
  
Heero: Get off the cross! We need the wood!  
  
Phone Solicitor: .You're going to burn in hell. * Hangs up. *  
  
(AN Blink: Now that wasn't so bad now was it? Next step: Breaking one of 10 commandments! You're on the road to being bad! Or going to hell. Depends on which off ramp you take.)  
  
Quatre: I can't believe you did that! Genius!!  
  
*Duo's phone starts to ring off the hook. *  
  
Duo: Hello?  
  
Phone Solicitor: Hi. Is Ms. Peacecraft there?  
  
Duo: No, I'm sorry-oh wait. I see her car turning around the corner. She's pulling into the driveway. Can you wait? She'll be here in a second.  
  
Phone Solicitor: Of course sir.  
  
Duo: She's getting out. Oh! Looks like she bought brownie mix. Do you like brownies?  
  
Phone Solicitor: Um, yes sir. They're very fudgie.  
  
Duo: Yeah me too. I like the magic ones but I always feel weird after eating them. I get really horny too. I thought that only happened after watching Sailor Moon.  
  
Phone Solicitor:..  
  
Duo: Relena is walking up the driveway. She's-oh wait. That's not her. Sorry.  
  
* Phone Solicitor hangs up. *  
  
(LB: Keep the calls coming! * Oompa-Loompas come running by to get more calls for the G-boys. * Lady Keo: o.0)  
  
*Wufei's phone rings*  
  
Wufei: Hello?  
  
Solicitor: Hello is Mrs. Peacecraft there?  
  
Wufei: *very calmly* No Mrs. Peacecrap is not here.  
  
Solicitor:.....Uh...is Mr. Peacecraft there?  
  
Wufei: No, Mr. Piece-a-shit isn't here either.  
  
Solicitor: *some what angry* Then who are you!?  
  
Wufei: HELL IF I KNOW! THE DAMM B***CH BLACKMAILED ME IN TO ANSWERING HER DAMM PHONES!  
  
*Proceeds to rant about the injustice that is Relena. *  
  
*Solicitor hangs up. *  
  
Trowa: Feel better?  
  
Wufei: * Suddenly stops* *Thinks * Yes, much better.  
  
*Quatre goes to phone again. *  
  
Quatre: Hello?  
  
Phone Solicitor: I'm waiting for Ms. Peacecraft. Or Mr. Peacecraft. Who ever can answer the damn phone.  
  
Quatre: *Mad about the rudeness of the solicitor. * Oh! Okay! Sorry! ^. ^ Just a second kind sir.  
  
Phone Solicitor: Thank God!  
  
Quatre: MMMOOOMMMMMM!!!!! *Listens to phone solicitor go mad on other end. *  
  
*Phone Solicitor hangs up. *  
  
Quatre: Well! She could have come any second too!  
  
*Pilots burst into laughter. All shut up as Heero's phone rings. *  
  
Heero: Hello?  
  
Phone Solicitor: Hey dude! It's, like, Jerry man!  
  
Heero: Hey! Jerry! Don't call this f***ing number again you little f***er! Next time I'll tear you up worse the Deathscythe Gundam on a group of Oz's.  
  
Phone Solicitor, "Jerry": *hangs up. *  
  
Duo: Damn right bitch.  
  
*Trowa's phone starts ringing. *  
  
Trowa: Hello.  
  
Phone Solicitor: Hello. Is this Mr. Peacecraft?  
  
Trowa: Speaking.  
  
Phone Solicitor: Well sir you've just won a trip to Las Vegas!  
  
Trowa: Great. Do you come with it?  
  
Phone Solicitor: *Laughs. * No sir. If you come out to-  
  
Trowa: You sound really hot. What are you wearing?  
  
Phone Solicitor: *sounds nerves. They were not taught this in the workshop. * Well, if you come out to Las Vegas *mumbles* we don't pay for the trip-  
  
Trowa: I'll tell you something you don't have pay for! Grrr.  
  
*Sounds of the solicitor asking for help from his boss. *  
  
Phone Solicitor: Well sir-  
  
Trowa: What's your favorite dessert toping?  
  
Phone Solicitor: What?  
  
Trowa: Mine's whip cream.  
  
*Phone Solicitor hangs up. *  
  
Wufei: Injustice! Too much information! But so funny!  
  
Heero: That was very funny.  
  
*The doors open and Mr.Peacecraft comes in. *  
  
Mr. Peacecraft: *Very shy. * Hi. How are you guys. *Pause. * Well, I had a long and hard film shoot today.  
  
Duo: What part was hard. The actual filming or the "acting"?  
  
Mr. Peacecraft: *not hearing Duo. * I'm really tired and my butt hurts.  
  
Wufei: o.0 Oh god. *Nosebleed starts. *  
  
*Relena comes running though the doors. *  
  
Relena: WHAT THE HELL HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT PRANKS ON THE PHONE!!!  
  
*Pilots jump up and start to run with Relena hot on their tail. *  
  
Mr. Peacecraft: Wait! What did Duo say?..DUOOOOOOOO!!!! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------- Okay! That's it! Hope you liked it! Sorry it's so long. We had a lot to say. Please review! Thanks! Have a kickin day. -Lady Blink and Lady Keo! ^. ^ 


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